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Do’s & Don’ts - When A Loved One Comes Home From Rehab

DO'S

Educate Yourself

Take the time to learn about addiction through research and reading. Becoming more educated on the topic of addiction will allow you to better understand what your loved one is feeling – and what he or she has gone through in active addiction – and what to expect in early recovery.

Communicate

Honesty is crucial – even if it’s difficult or negative. Opening up the conversation is better than saying nothing at all.

Connect

Find a local support group for families, friends or spouses of addiction where you’re able to open up about what you’re feeling and thinking when your loved one comes home from rehab. Listen to the stories and feelings from others in the group. You can connect with others who have been in similar situations.

Be Patient

Recovery is a process – not a one time deal. Healing takes time. Your loved one isn’t going to show up at your front door with every problem solved our every wound mended. Family needs to understand that they need to exercise patience in both themselves and their loved one.

Show Love

With your loved one entering onto the path of recovery, it’s likely that he will lose some of the “friends” he used to party with, or she may feel overwhelmed or alone at times. Take an active role in your loved one’s life by showing him or her that you care. Take up a hobby together like a cooking classes or spin classes!

 

DON'TS

DON'T Put Pressure

Early recovery is an exciting time – but it can also be overwhelming and stressful at times. The first few months of recovery are especially critical for your loved one, and can be some of the most difficult. Don’t come swinging right out of the gate and push your loved one to do too much too soon. Give him or her time to heal and solidify a path to health and recovery.

DON'T Be Afraid of Triggering a Relapse

Relapse happens – not just in addiction, but in many diseases.You don’t have that much power over your loved one; nothing you do or say will cause him or her to drink or drug again. And if he or she does relapse – it’s not on you. They are responsible for their own actions and their own recovery. Be honest about your emotions – without the fear that he or she will relapse.

DON'T Judge

Recovery from addiction isn’t one-sized fits all. Some individuals recovery fairly smoothly, with hard work, but few ups and downs. For others, it may be a very emotional process. Practice understanding and positivity as your loved one begins their healing process

DON'T Blame Yourself

“3 C’s of Addiction” – you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it. Despite any finger-pointing that went on while your loved one was in active addiction, it’s important to remember that you are not the cause of your loved one’s addiction. This can relieve any guilt you may feel – and help you to realize that he or she needs to take responsibility over his own actions.

DON'T Bring Up The Past

Rather than dwelling on the past and remaining in stagnant misery, look forward to a healed and renewed relationship with your loved one – free of addcition.

Family members, spouses and friends will often hang on to the same fears they harbored before their loved one went to rehab. You may get scared when he gets home 20 minutes later than usual (he was stuck in traffic), or she goes goes to the bathroom in your home with the door shut (she actually just had to use the bathroom). Having these fears are normal, but don’t micromanage your loved one. Allow for healing and growth in both yourself and your loved one. If you see true signs of a lapse or relapse, speak to your loved on about it in a supportive manner. Relapses do occur and need to be addressed constructively.

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